72: It's More Important To Be Respected Than Liked

Pattern of Purpose episode 72 cover art Tamera Darden

The most common reason we don’t show up as ourselves is the fear of rejection. It’s human nature to be liked. However, no one is for everyone. If your message is only scratching the surface because you’re afraid of the fallout, you’re also missing out on deep connections that stem from such authenticity.

Today’s guest, Tamera Darden, joins me to talk about embracing your value, speaking your truth, and letting go of services that don’t serve you.

On this episode, Tamera and I discuss:

  • The strong desire humans have to relate to each others’ stories,
  • How our formative experiences shape our willingness to share our voice,
  • Expecting people to disagree with you,
  • How to recognize when you’re trying to prove yourself vs. be yourself, and
  • Why charging your worth is terrible advice.


Tamera Darden product photographer & creative director of Darden Creative, a content creation agency for beauty, wellness and lifestyle brands. After 6 years in corporate retail for a Fortune 500 company, she focused her attention on product photography during the rise of Instagram. When she wasn’t able to find a job that fit her skill set, she created her own as a creative director & photographer. She has since dedicated her merchandising, styling and creativity skills to help brands craft their narrative through beautiful social media content for their social media platforms & website.

Since 2016, Tamera has worked with over 50 brands & influencers creating custom social media content for their social media platforms & websites. In addition to posting stunning photography on the 'gram, she shares honest, relatable business & lifestyle advice for creative entrepreneurs daily on Instagram and through my podcast, Real Talk with Tamera. She's been tapped for business advice by various platforms, including Vogue Business & Alt Summit. Tamera is originally from New York City and is now based in Washington, D.C.


You’ve got to take ownership of who you want to be.

There will always be spectators; you’re not showing up for them.

What you offer isn’t for everyone, which means you don’t have to speak to everyone.

What you need to provide a great customer experience is different from what you need to be liked.

Your worth is not synonymous with your value.


“Who I am is so much more than what I do.”

“If you share your failures as much as you embrace your successes, it adds to the level of credibility, professionalism, human connection, and trust.”

“The only way you can be successful personally or professionally is to be yourself.”

“People crave the ability to see themselves in others.”

“When you embrace your truth is when you find freedom.”